Jay Duplass’s latest film tackles grief, family dysfunction, and mental health through the lens of a tragically familiar story.
Based on comedian Adam Cayton-Holland’s memoir about his sister’s suicide, “See You When I See You” attempts to balance whimsical indie charm with devastating emotional weight.
The result is a film that, despite its predictable framework and precious aesthetic choices, ultimately delivers something unexpectedly valuable: an authentic portrayal of trauma therapy that most films conveniently skip over.
And in doing so, it offers viewers struggling with loss or mental health challenges a surprisingly educational glimpse into healing.
The Familiar Framework of Indie Grief
Cooper Raiff stars as Aaron, a comedy writer whose younger sister Leah (Kaitlyn Dever) died by suicide months before the film opens. He’s the quintessential sad clown—deflecting pain with jokes, drinking too much, and avoiding anything resembling emotional responsibility.
His family mirrors his avoidance in their own ways. Father Robert (David Duchovny) and sister Emily (Lucy Boynton) push for funeral arrangements while burying themselves in legal work. Mother Paige (Hope Davis) ignores her own health crisis entirely.
The film’s early sequences lean heavily on indie film conventions: quirky moments like bird droppings interrupting voicemails, Michel Gondry-inspired fantasy sequences where Aaron converses with Leah’s memory, and a saccharine score that occasionally borders on manipulative.
When Privilege Meets Tragedy
Aaron’s journey through grief involves the kind of self-destructive behavior that feels simultaneously relatable and frustrating. He ghosts his romantic interest Camila (Ariela Barer) when Leah dies, gets a DUI, and generally expects the world to accommodate his pain.
The film doesn’t entirely ignore this privileged perspective. One side character delivers a sharp reality check, telling Aaron directly:
You got a DUI. This isn’t like private school detention.
It’s a necessary moment of accountability in a narrative that risks romanticizing dysfunction. Aaron and his family have resources most grieving families don’t—access to therapy, financial stability, professional flexibility—yet they still struggle to take basic steps toward healing.
That tension between privilege and paralysis creates an uncomfortable but honest portrait of how trauma can immobilize anyone, regardless of advantage.
The Unexpected Value: Real Therapy on Screen
Where “See You When I See You” distinguishes itself from countless other indie grief narratives is in its second half. Rather than treating therapy as a quick checkbox—character walks into office, lesson learned, credits roll—the film dedicates substantial screen time to actual treatment sessions.
Aaron begins EMDR therapy (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), a legitimate evidence-based treatment for trauma and PTSD. The film shows the process in detail: buzzers vibrating rhythmically in Aaron’s hands while he revisits traumatic memories under clinical guidance.
This matters more than typical film criticism might suggest.
Understanding EMDR Therapy
EMDR therapy uses bilateral stimulation—alternating tactile, visual, or auditory input—to help patients process traumatic memories. Research published in multiple peer-reviewed journals has demonstrated its effectiveness for PTSD, with some studies showing significant symptom reduction in 77-90% of participants.
The therapy works by helping the brain reprocess stuck traumatic memories, allowing patients to experience them without the overwhelming emotional charge that typically accompanies recall.
- Reduces avoidance behaviors that prevent healing
- Helps integrate traumatic experiences into overall life narrative
- Decreases hyperarousal symptoms like anxiety and hypervigilance
- Allows emotional processing without requiring extensive verbal recounting
By showing Aaron’s actual therapy sessions rather than glossing over them, the film performs an unexpected public service. It demystifies trauma treatment for audiences who might be considering help themselves.
Breaking Down Barriers to Treatment
Aaron’s father Robert resists therapy based on one negative past experience—a common barrier that keeps many people from seeking help. The film gently challenges this resistance by showing varied approaches to treatment and the importance of finding the right therapeutic fit.
Paige’s refusal to address her health concerns mirrors another widespread avoidance pattern: the belief that ignoring problems will make them disappear. Spoiler: it doesn’t work that way.
Navigating Grief Without Blame
Like many suicide narratives, “See You When I See You” contends with survivors’ misplaced guilt. Aaron tortures himself with unanswerable questions about what he missed, what he could have done differently, whether he failed his sister.
The fantasy sequences where Aaron talks with Leah’s memory serve this processing function. Though stylistically precious, they represent his mind’s attempt to find closure where none naturally exists.
Mental health experts consistently emphasize that suicide results from complex interactions of biological, psychological, and environmental factors—never from a single person’s actions or inactions.
Yet survivor guilt remains one of grief’s most persistent companions. Aaron’s journey through therapy specifically addresses this cognitive distortion, helping him separate appropriate sadness from inappropriate self-blame.
When Earnestness Overcomes Preciousness
Despite its indulgent aesthetic choices and familiar narrative beats, Duplass’s film succeeds through vulnerability. It doesn’t pretend healing happens quickly or that one therapy session fixes everything.
Aaron remains flawed throughout. Camila rightfully calls out his narcissistic patterns even as she offers support. Emily’s controlling tendencies stem from her own unprocessed grief. Robert’s emotional availability comes in unprofessional bursts rather than consistent presence.
Nobody transforms into their best self by the closing credits. They simply take hesitant steps toward help.
Practical Takeaways for Real-Life Grief
For audiences navigating similar losses, the film offers several evidence-aligned messages:
- Professional help works, but finding the right therapeutic approach and provider matters
- Avoidance prolongs suffering rather than preventing it
- Grief affects families systemically—everyone processes loss differently
- Humor and pain coexist without diminishing each other’s validity
- Healing isn’t linear and doesn’t follow convenient narrative arcs
The film’s B- grade reflects its technical and creative limitations—the overly familiar framework, stylistic excess, and occasionally flat characterizations. But its emotional grade might be higher, particularly for viewers seeking realistic portrayals of trauma treatment.
Beyond the Screen: Resources That Actually Help
If “See You When I See You” resonates because you’re experiencing similar grief or mental health struggles, evidence-based help exists beyond cinema’s simplified portrayals.
The 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline provides 24/7 confidential support via call, text, or chat. The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offers resources specifically for loss survivors, including support group directories.
EMDR therapy, as portrayed in the film, requires training and certification—seek providers through the EMDR International Association directory. Other evidence-based approaches for trauma and grief include Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Prolonged Exposure therapy, and Complicated Grief Treatment.
What matters most isn’t finding the perfect treatment immediately. It’s taking that first uncomfortable step toward help—the one Aaron spends most of the movie avoiding, and the one that ultimately makes all the difference.