Nikki Glaser is already feeling the pressure, and the Golden Globes haven’t even started yet.
The comedian, who’ll take the stage Sunday at the Beverly Hilton for her second consecutive year hosting the awards show, has spent weeks perfecting her opening monologue—with one glaring exception.
Julia Roberts is proving impossible to crack.
And it’s not for lack of trying.
Why Julia Roberts Is Glaser’s Toughest Target
Roberts, nominated for best actress in a drama for “After the Hunt,” will be sitting front and center during Glaser’s monologue. But every attempt at a joke has been met with resistance—not from Roberts herself, but from audiences.
She’s been the toughest nut to crack. But I’m going to crack it.
Glaser told The Associated Press that even her most innocent Roberts material has bombed during test runs at comedy clubs.
I just want to do the perfect joke but it’s like people do not have a sense of humor about Julia Roberts. She’ll be fine—other people are not fine on her behalf. Like the most innocent joke about her that I made a couple times trying it out, they booed, they were like jeering.
It’s a unique challenge for Glaser, who earned rave reviews last year for her perfectly calibrated celebrity roasts. Sharp enough to land, but never cruel enough to draw blood.
Glaser’s Confidence With Other A-Listers
While Roberts remains elusive, Glaser feels locked and loaded with material for several other nominees—particularly those in the absurdly competitive best actor categories.
Timothée Chalamet: Round Two
Chalamet, nominated this year for “Marty Supreme” after last year’s Bob Dylan turn, is back in Glaser’s crosshairs. Last year, she delivered one of the night’s most memorable zingers about his mustache.
You have the most gorgeous eyelashes—on your upper lip.
This year, she’s ready for more.
Timothée, he’s great. He knows how to handle it.
George Clooney and Michael B. Jordan
Clooney, nominated for “Jay Kelly,” gets his first taste of Glaser’s comedy. She’s confident he’ll play along.
George Clooney’s going to be exciting to just have any kind of interaction with. I think he’s such a good sport. He’s down for it.
And Michael B. Jordan, nominated for “Sinners,” has Glaser particularly excited about her prepared material.
Leonardo DiCaprio: The Inevitable Target
DiCaprio, representing “One Battle After Another,” seems destined for Glaser’s sharpest barbs. She teased what’s coming with a cryptic warning.
Leo? Leo, yeah, Leo. We’re going to hit Leo. The icebergs are coming. Watch out.
Titanic references? Dating pattern jokes? Whatever she’s prepared, DiCaprio better be ready.
Testing Material at Comedy Clubs
Unlike most awards show hosts who write in isolation, Glaser has been road-testing her monologue at Southern California comedy clubs for weeks.
I’ve been running the jokes constantly. I live and die by those crowds. They really tell me what to keep and what not to. Things that I think will kill will just be nothing and things that I think are just a throwaway are like the best joke.
Club audiences have been playing stand-ins for celebrities, with Glaser asking random attendees to pretend they’re Julia Roberts or other nominees while she delivers her material.
Some jokes make the cut. Others end up in what Glaser calls “the graveyard.”
One casualty? A wordplay bit about the show “Pluribus.”
I was going to make a joke about ‘Pluribus’ where I said like, ‘Have you seen it? Pluribly not.’ But we could not find a place for ‘pluribly not’ and so that one is in the graveyard. Probably rightfully so.
Current Events Could Change Everything
Glaser’s biggest fear isn’t a bad joke—it’s a major global event that forces her to rewrite everything hours before showtime.
Last weekend, tensions in Venezuela had her considering whether to address it in her monologue. By Tuesday, she’d mostly ruled it out.
You can’t even anticipate things a week away as being relevant enough. You’d be surprised that half the room had no clue why I was saying ‘Venezuela.’ People aren’t getting the news like we all are.
It’s a delicate balance: staying topical without alienating viewers who may not be following every headline.
Learning From Last Year’s Success
Last year, Glaser faced a similar challenge with “Wicked.” Finding a joke that honored the film’s massive fanbase while still landing a punch took considerable effort.
But when she finally cracked it, the result was perfection.
It ended up being perfect. I loved it. My boyfriend loved it, my boyfriend’s boyfriend loved it. Perfect ‘Wicked’ joke. Wasn’t too mean, just celebrated the gayness.
That’s the sweet spot Glaser is chasing again: jokes sharp enough to be memorable, but affectionate enough that targets can laugh along.
As for Julia Roberts? With just days left before the CBS telecast begins, Glaser remains determined to find that elusive perfect joke—even if audiences have been protective so far.
Sunday night will reveal whether America’s sweetheart gets roasted, or whether Glaser decides some nuts are better left uncracked.