Prince Andrew has become the butt of Britain’s favorite Christmas cracker joke this year.
The annual competition, commissioned by comedy channel U&Gold and decided by public vote, has crowned a joke about the disgraced royal as 2024’s winner.
Ben Smith from Chelmsford took home £1,500 towards a holiday for his winning quip: “Why is Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles!”
The joke captures Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor’s dramatic fall from grace after being stripped of his royal titles and privileges.
A Double Dose of Royal Mockery
Andrew’s troubles clearly resonated with the British public beyond just one joke.
A second gag about the former Duke of York claimed the number four spot on this year’s top 10 list. That one asked: “What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.”
The double appearance suggests Andrew’s situation has lodged firmly in Britain’s collective consciousness—and become a source of comedic fodder that shows no signs of fading.
Oasis Reunion Takes Silver Medal
Coming in second place was a joke about Liam and Noel Gallagher’s highly anticipated reunion tour.
“Why don’t Noel and Liam want to open their presents early on Christmas morning? They need a little time to wake up,” the joke cleverly references the band’s iconic hit “Wonderwall.”
The Oasis reunion announcement last summer became one of 2024’s biggest pop culture moments, making it perfect material for festive humor.
Politicians and Pop Stars Round Out the List
This year’s finalists covered a wide range of cultural touchstones from across 2024.
Politicians Angela Rayner and Nigel Farage both featured in the top 10, alongside celebrities like pop star Sabrina Carpenter and television presenter Claudia Winkleman.
Lily Allen and David Harbour’s acrimonious divorce—which inspired Allen’s latest album—also made the cut with a “Stranger Things” reference at number six.
Expert Judges Praise This Year’s Entries
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau chaired the judging panel that filtered submissions before putting them to public vote.
An absolutely stellar list of jokes this year – possibly one of our best ever in the 13 years U&GOLD has been running this competition.
Dessau praised the diverse range of topical material that emerged from 2024’s headlines.
2025 has featured a number of newsworthy moments, and there’s a real mix of topical jokes here that poke fun at some of the year’s headlines.
Gerald Casey, UKTV director, echoed that sentiment about British humor.
Another fantastic year of hilarious entries, showing that the British public are as funny as ever when it comes to the news.
A Tradition of Topical Humor
Christmas cracker jokes have long been a staple of British holiday celebrations, though they’re typically known for being groan-worthy rather than genuinely clever.
U&Gold’s annual competition elevates the tradition by encouraging topical humor that reflects what actually happened during the year. Previous winners have tackled everything from political scandals to cultural institutions.
Last year’s winner focused on Keir Starmer’s freebies scandal, while 2023’s champion joke took aim at the British Museum.
The Complete Top 10 List
For those looking to update their Christmas crackers with more relevant material, here’s the complete ranking:
- Prince Andrew’s titles: “Why is Prince Andrew not writing any Christmas books? He hasn’t got any titles.”
- Oasis reunion: “Why don’t Noel and Liam want to open their presents early on Christmas morning? They need a little time to wake up.”
- Sabrina Carpenter: “Which pop star carves her own wooden nativity scene? Sabrina Carpenter.”
- Andrew in the cold: “What do Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor and a snowman have in common? They’re both out in the cold.”
- French heist: “What is a French burglar’s favourite Christmas film? Louvre, Actually.”
- Lily and David: “Could Lily Allen and David Harbour get back together for Christmas? Stranger Things have happened.”
- Angela Rayner: “Why won’t Angela Rayner get any Christmas presents this year? Santa can’t decide which address to deliver to.”
- Claudia Winkleman: “What is Claudia Winkleman’s favourite part of Christmas dinner? The Taters.”
- Celia Imrie: “Does Celia Imrie beat her family at Christmas party games? Yes, she trumps them all.”
- Nigel Farage: “Where has Santa been more than Nigel Farage? His house in Clacton.”
Smith’s winning entry perfectly encapsulates why Christmas cracker jokes endure: they blend wordplay with current events, creating humor that feels both timeless and timely.
For Prince Andrew, being the subject of not one but two top-10 Christmas jokes adds insult to injury after an already difficult year—proving that public mockery can sting just as much as official sanctions.